Page12MpunduKasuba

My Cross

I shall one day arise and take my place in the heavenly host

A terrible sword has pierced my heart, except for God, no one

Knows of my sufferings. And yet my soul does not break

Because I know

I shall one day arise and take my place in the heavenly host

It is brave for it is with Jesus no human tie however dear to

Us can ever separate us from the love of God. Knowing this

Comforts my soul, for I understand that

I shall one day arise and take my place in the heavenly host

Am dying in pieces my Jesus because that which I treasured

The most in the world has been taken away from me forever

Despite knowing this

I shall one day arise and take my place in the heavenly host

My soul has been robbed of its body and the only thing that

Keeps me going is the love I have for you.

I shall one day arise and take my place in the heavenly host.

By Chalwe Mwansa, to his beloved cousin Mpundu

Letter to Mpundu

on Her First Memorial

My dearest Mpundu,

I know you are fine in the Heavenly Kingdom of God. I know you are always at God’s right hand. Mpundu, continue praising and singing for our Lord God Almighty and pray for us too. I am writing to you my baby first to wish you a belated happy birthday and to let you know how your memorial mass and unveiling of the tombstone was.

This is a brief about your passing into heaven. When my sister called me to come to where you were I thought you needed something. I rushed and the nurse on duty told me that you had crossed over. I could not believe it. I called out your name, you opened your eyes and said “Mom.” I called your name again, you tried to open but failed. I held your chest, there was no heart beat, I cried but the nurse asked me to pray for you so that Our Lord God Almighty meets you at the point of entry into his Kingdom. I cried when you were being wheeled into the mortuary, I could not believe, up to now I am still in a state of disbelief that you will never come back into my life.

The following day, we called the funeral parlour (IDEAL) to collect your body and prepare it for burial. On the 29th, we had a beautiful service, there were a lot of people who came to bid farewell to you. I did not cry when it was my time to view your body, I touched and prayed for you, my friends and relatives could not believe, God gave me the strength and I thank him for that. At the grave yard my baby, they were a lot and lots of people, your friends from school, from our community were all there. After burial when most people returned to their homes then reality dawned on me that you will never come back.

Mpundu, my grief journey has been extremely painful, intense and difficult, I was almost slipping into depression and had lost a lot of weight, through God’s grace, he sustained me. Chikwa your young sister was there for me. I tell you Mpundu, it hasn’t been easy for us. Your cousin Charles up to now still talks about you, the plans you had, what you were going to do when you grow up etc. I cry a lot when I meet your friends in their uniforms. I always imagine how beautiful you would have been at 16. You were going to complete your high school and enroll into college.

All these thoughts bring in pain, anger and frustration. On your first year angel date, I arranged for a memorial mass at our church and Father Gilbert celebrated your memorial mass. He is new to our Parish and was shocked that you died sooooooooooooooo young and asked me how I was coping. He felt sorry for me when I told him I have only one daughter (10) on earth and you above. The memorial mass too was well attended and your fellow youths were in charge of the programme. It was wonderful. When Mwamba (your friend) and Bwalya (Chikwa’s friend) unveiled the stone, My baby, tears were flowing like a river. I cried, My baby, and so did Chikwa and your Aunt from Chingola. The stone is so beautiful my love.

Mpundu, I have now given you to the Lord, I know God has now given you a new name for you told me in one of my dreams that I should be happy. I quote, “When you came to see me in my dream, you asked for water and fanta and I told you that I was going to send someone to buy them for you. I asked you if you knew that you were dead and you said, “Yes Mom I know,” I wanted to know where you were and you said “Of course with God.” I was so delighted and wanted to know how it is in heaven, all you said was heaven was a good place but at times it’s boring so we go out for fresh air. You told me you had gotten permission from God to come and see me and to tell me that I should be happy as you are happy where you are. You emphasised that I should be happy (“Mom be happy, be happy mom, I am happy where I am”). I am trying to Mpundu, but it’s not an easy road.

By the way, six months later, Aunt Agatha, Aunt Patricia and Aunt Joyce followed you. I know you have reunited and are now one big family. I always thank God for having given me the opportunity of giving life to you. Though you lived a short life on this earth, but you live an eternity in our hearts and in heaven, you are forever missed.

Say hello to your father and tell him that he is missed too by the entire family. We miss his jokes and the tantrums when upset.

I LOVED YOU IN LIFE & WILL CONTINUE LOVING YOU IN DEATH

and I’ll keep praying for you and missing you as long as I live.

There is no day that passes without a thought of you My baby.

Your forever in tears mum,

Judy

In Loving Memory

Mpundu Hilda Kasuba

Beloved daughter of Judith Mwenya

Only sister of Chikwa

26 July 1988 – 26 August 2003

Pneumonia