There are countless stories about guys and girls leaving the friend zone to pursue a romantic relationship. It’s brave and it’s sweet, but more than that, it’s grim. A blight on friendship, it truly is. But if you make it work, it becomes the most beautiful thing ever.
When you fall in love with your best friend, you have a piercing determination to make it work. Why? You are putting your whole relationship on the line, and it’s too great of a risk to let it all go down the drain. Falling hard for your best friend means the end of being friends to start being lovers. But what’s the reality in all that?
Out with the old, In with the new
If you’re spending a lot of time with a close friend of the opposite sex, it takes time to develop feelings beyond the borders of friendship. Moreover, if that individual is a childhood friend, you pretty much spent a good fraction of your life together- may it be at home, school or at work. Hence, you’re used to count on each other for almost everything.
Friends are critical to attain happiness. And sometimes, when you feel like he or she is the one who can make you profoundly happy, you’re more likely to push it to the next level. Out with the old, in with the new, they say. But being lovers, would that status stay?
The Unforeseeable Moirai
Now, there are others who remain friends with someone, but they didn’t expect nor intend to take things to the next level. It just happened. Serendipity. It seems like they were brought together by fate, not as friends, but as two lovers. If that were you, would you simply give in to what life seemingly handed you? Or do you try to question it, and be against it, because you think about the “greater good?”
There’s this saying, “Meeting you was fate, becoming friends was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.” Destiny has some funny ways, doesn’t it?
If you’re overwhelmed by all the happenings, and you just now realized that you are actually in a relationship with your best friend, don’t panic. Remember to take things slow, and stay “normal.” You can continue being best friends while being lovers. You don’t have to turn your back completely on the thing you genuinely care about. You have a choice. The important thing is, you have one of the most important people in your life there and together with you.
Certainty is Key
When you’re transitioning from friends to lovers, you have to make sure that you are completely ready to take that next step. Having feelings for someone is one thing, but having the kind of love that only two people in a romantic relationship share, is another. Surprisingly, some romantic relationships do not differ from close friendships in terms of emotional connection and intimacy, and activities. Some researchers say that the only difference is on the label.
But if there is uncertainty, that’s where the problem comes in.
The expectations grow and change as you transition in your relationship. Therefore, you need to be fully aware of what you’re getting at. In fact, you need to make sure that the feelings are mutual before you let the cat out of the bag.
Try and ask your friend if he or she has feelings (more than friends) for you. Or if you want to find out the answer without the other directly exposing his or her thoughts, then you can even try to have another friend fish the information out from your best friend.
Analyze whether that guy or girl seems jealous whenever you’re out with another friend from the opposite sex. Do you feel a romantic spark whenever you two are alone? Is it awkward? Does it seem strange and tingly? Don’t be afraid if you feel like you’re taking too much time, certainty is key.
If you are still struggling with determining whether you really want to push forward your friendship to the next level, you can try online therapy and seek help from a professional. In this way, you can be prepared for the possible scenarios you’ll be encountering in the future with your best friend.